Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Husband and wife jokes



On Lovers’ Day, one middle aged couple was having candle-light dinner at home. Wife asked her husband: My Dear, you love my angelic face or my devilish body shape?
The husband replied hesitantly, being almost choked himself after hearing his wife’s question: Eh, eh……..I love your sense of humor.

                  Young and handsome doctor treating an old patient
                      The nurse was very attentive to this old man

Wife: Dear, nowadays you keep talking in your sleep; don’t you think you need to see a doctor to rid this problem?
Husband: What for? If I were to have myself cured of such, I won’t have even the basic right to be heard at home! You'll only listen to me when I speak in my sleep.

                                          OMG, it sure hurts!

A big-body sized man was rather henpecked; he was constantly being scolded by his wife even in the public, and blamed for all the follies and fault, even if was committed by her. One day in the midst of a banquet, his wife lost her cool and slapped him across his cheek. To save his face, he raised his voice and told his wife: “I dare you to do that to me one more time!”
Without hesitation, his wife slapped him even harder on another cheek.
Enduring the pain inflicted, the man held both his cheeks and uttered audibly enough: “At least for once, you listened to me; I forgive you this time!”



                                This fish dish sure is tasty..........

A couple was dining at a Chinese restaurant when the wife could not hold her unhappiness at her husband, she grumbled: Why are you picking all the meaty part of the fish? When we were courting, you only eat the head and the tail of the fish, leaving the meaty part to me?
The husband replied: “Oh, at that time I was not merely eating fish, I was actually fishing………….”

                         Grumpy old couple not speaking to each other

Where love is gone......a house is not a home.....sigh.....Time to separate.

The husband asked his wife: “Why do Creator the Lord make woman pretty and charming, yet so foolish and ignorant?”
The wife replied: “The Lord make us pretty so that men will fall in love with us. The Lord also make us foolish so that we will fall for bad men like you!”

              
                     
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all? It's me,  who else? I'm the prettiest and the fairest!

The old lady who was staring at the mirror for a long time began to cry when she realized her face was old, wrinkled and haggard. The husband chirped in and said: “You broke down to wail just by looking into the mirror. Do you care about my predicament? I’ve got to look at your face everyday, all the time, day and night!”

Translated from a Chinese Text
Alan CY Kok

             Mass kissing contest underway in The Philippines

Reminder: July the 6th had been declared International Kissing Day a.k.a World Kissing Day since 1991. It was first propagated by the British and the United Nation recognized it as a worldly event. Many major cities in the world organized all sorts of kissing contests on this day. In Asia, cities in Japan, Taiwan, Thailand, China and the Philippines regularly hold the kissing contests during this auspicious day of the year.  Do not hope this event could ever happen in Malaysia. Young unwed lovers could be arrested and fined in the court of law for just holding hands. It is sad tales for upholding moral values.  Moral values my foot! I will say.

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